Humour is an interesting weapon you can use to spice up your relationship. Nobody wants to have a boring and steady relationship, and all the serious talks every time. A person with a good sense of humor always seems to be more charming and attractive. When it comes to love, laughter should just come along to make it more durable and healthy. If you are looking for some cute lines and quotes from books and movies to shower your love for your partner, then you’ve come to the right place to lighten up your mood and gave a good laugh.
If you occasionally use funny pick up lines or quotes, it will automatically make you look more charming and cute. This might really make your partner impressed. It won’t make your relationship dull, and you’ll always be able to get through the tough times easier when you can make each other laugh.
Funny Love Quotes
1.) My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on.
– Joan Rivers
2.) I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
– Groucho Marx
3.) A kiss without a mustache is like an egg without salt.
– Spanish Proverb
4.) He gave her a look that you could have poured on a waffle.
– Ring Lardner
5.) Marrying a man is like buying something you’ve been admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn’t always go with everything else.
– Jean Kerr
6.) Romantic love is mental illness. But it’s a pleasurable one.
–Fran Lebowitz
7.) Don’t make love by the garden gate, love is blind but the neighbors ain’t.
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8.) Marriage is like pantyhose. It all depends on what you put into it.
– Phyllis Schlafly
9.) Love is telling someone that his zipper is open or her wig looks too fake.
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10.) What’s the difference between a boyfriend and a husband? About 30 pounds.
– Cindy Garner
11.) Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.
– Jackie Mason
12.) According to Newton’s Law of love, love can neither be created nor destroyed. However, it can create a girlfriend who can destroy wallets.
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13.) If love is a blunder, then it means that the biggest fault in my life is loving you.
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14.) Will you lend me a kiss? I promise to give it back.
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15.) My head and my heart will never cease their endless war. When my head says ‘I don’t care, my heart says ‘I do care’. When my head says ‘I’m not thinking about her, my heart says ‘of course you do.’
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16.) It is not love that makes a relationship complicated; it’s the people in it who do.
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17.) Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.
–Albert Einstein
18.) Love is an ocean of emotions entirely surrounded by expenses.
– Thomas Dewar
19.) Love is a lot like a backache, it doesn’t show up on X-rays, but you know it’s there.
– George Burns
20.) I love you more than coffee, but please don’t make me prove it.
– Elizabeth Evans
21.) The four most important words in any marriage. I’ll do the dishes.
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22.) All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt.
–Charles M. Schulz
23.) Love is a mutual self-giving which ends in self-recovery.
–Fulton J.Sheen
24.) If you love ’em in the morning with their eyes full of crust; if you love ’em at night with their hair full of rollers, chances are, you’re in love.
– Miles Davis
25.) My mind works great wonder 365 days a year, 7 days a week and 24 hours a day until I met you.
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26.) Don’t feel bad if you see your ex with someone else. Remember, our parents taught us to give the things we don’t need to the less fortunate.
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27.) I want to be the reason when you look down on your phone, you’ll have this goofy smile in your face and jump up and down like a silly little girl, and then fall down a manhole.
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28.) During my days, the teenagers talk about movies, music and love. Now, all the kids talk about are sex, relationship and heartbreak.
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29.) Love is like a headache or a backache. It does not show in the MRI or X-ray, but you just know that it’s there.
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30.) Staying in love for more than 5 years is almost impossible. Staying in love with the same person for you’re the rest of your life is a miracle.
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31.) Marriage does not only require you to deal with expenses and the toilet seat, you also have to deal with feelings and the last resort, the lawyers.
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32.) Promise yourself not to be a woman who needs a man to live, but a woman a man needs.
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33.) You will always be my 11:11 and the name I write in my naughty list.
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34.) Girls cry their eyes out until they are dry, while boys drink their beers until their mugs are all dried up.
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35.) I wish there’s a traffic light to tell me when to stop, go and slow down when I took this road of falling in love.
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36.) I want to be your sweet good morning, your lovely good night and your most painful goodbye.
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37.) Stop waiting for your prince in a white horse. Go and find him. The poor bastard might be lost, stuck in an island or something.
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38.) To fall in love is awfully simple, but to fall out of love is simply awful.
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39.) Love with old men is as the sun upon the snow, it dazzles more than it warms.
– J.P. Senn
40.) My brother is gay and my parents don’t care, as long as he marries a doctor.
– Elayne Boosler
41.) When you’re in love, it’s the most glorious two-and-a-half days of your life.
– Richard Lewis
42.) Marriage is like vitamins: we supplement each other’s minimum daily requirements.
– Kathy Mohnke
43.) Love doesn’t make the world go round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile.
– Franklin P. Jones
44.) Women cannot complain about men anymore until they start getting better taste in them.
– Bill Maher
45.) My wife gets all the money I make. I just get an apple and clean clothes every morning.
– Ray Romano
46.) Marriage is like a bank account. You put it in, you take it out, you lose interest.
– Professor Irwin Corey
47.)A good marriage is like a casserole, only those responsible for it really know what goes in it.
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48.) What’s the best way to have your husband remember your anniversary? Get married on his birthday.
– Cindy Garner
49.) Love is the answer, but while you’re waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions.
–Woody Allen
50.) If only one could tell true love from false love as one can tell mushrooms from toadstools.
– Katherine Mansfield
51.) Women hope men will change after marriage, but they don’t; men hope women won’t change, but they do.
– Bettina Arndt
52.) True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked.
Erich Segal
53.) You add meaning to my life and yet, you subtract some cash from my wallet.
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54.) You’re just like bacon, beer and chocolate – you make everything better.
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55.) Loss for words? Give that person a hug. It’s worth a thousand and more. Plus, it’s free.
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56.) You’re the cheese on top of my spaghetti, the cream on top of my frappuccino and the cheesecake on my red velvet cake.
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57.) You are the cause why my eyeglasses fog.
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58.) A person in love partly becomes a poet, a composer and the corniest person in the room.
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59.) I want someone who will pause his game just to answer my call.
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60.) You’ll know a person is in love when he can laugh like a fool by himself and keeps a goofy smile plastered on his face all day long.
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61.) Love is a two-way street constantly under construction.
– Carroll Bryant
62.) A man in love is not complete until he is married. Then he is finished.
Zsa Zsa Gabor
63.) Love is the only kind of fire which is never covered by insurance.
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64.) I love you no matter what you do, but do you have to do so much of it?
–Jean Illsley Clarke
65.)An archeologist is the best husband any woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her.
– Agatha Christie
66.) True love is like ghosts, which everyone talks about and few have seen.
– Francois de la Rochefoucauld
67.) Love is blind but marriage is a real eye-opener.
– Pauline Thomason
68.) Love doesn’t drop on you unexpectedly; you have to give off signals, sort of like an amateur radio operator.
–Helen Gurley Brown
69.) I had a dream that i still loved you. I think I woke up screaming.
– Christine
70.) Love is fun but, it is not going to pay the bills.
– Jessica Martin
71.) It wasn’t love at first sight. It took a full five minutes.
– Lucille Ball
72.) I love you so much I’d fight a bear for you. Well not a grizzly bear because they have claws, and not a panda bear because they know Kung Fu. But a care bear, I’d definitely fight a care bear for you.
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73.) A man falls in love through his eyes, a woman through her ears.
– Les Dawson
74.) People should fall in love with their eyes closed.
– Andy Warhol
75.) If you text ‘I love you’ to a person and the person writes back an emoji — no matter what that emoji is, they don’t love you back.
– Chelsea Peretti
76.) Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet service to see who they really are.
– Will Ferrell
77.) I thought I was promiscuous, but it turns out I was just thorough.
– Russell Brand
78.) I love being married. It’s so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
– Rita Rudner
79.) If you text ‘I love you’ to a person and the person writes back an emoji — no matter what that emoji is, they don’t love you back.
– Chelsea Peretti
80.) Love is telling someone their hair extensions are showing.
– Natasha Leggero
81.) I’m now making a Jewish porno film. Ten percent sex, 90 percent guilt.
– Henny Youngman
82.) My friends tell me I have an intimacy problem. But they don’t really know me.
– Garry Shandling
83.) Honesty is the key to a relationship. If you can fake that, you’re in.
– Richard Jeni
84.) If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question?
– Lily Tomlin
85.) Being a good husband is like being a stand-up comic. You need 10 years before you can call yourself a beginner. – Jerry Seinfeld
86.) My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on.
– Joan Rivers
87.) Obviously, if I was serious about having a relationship with someone long-term, the last people I would introduce him to would be my family.
– Chelsea Handler
88.) Love is a lot like a backache: it doesn’t show up on X-rays, but you know it’s there.
– George Burns
89.) I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury
– Groucho Marx
90.) Love is the answer, but while you’re waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions.
– Woody Allen
91.) If you can stay in love for more than two years, you’re on something.
– Fran Lebowitz
92.) Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings and lawyers.
– Richard Pryor
93.) There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.
– Chris Rock
94.) My wife was afraid of the dark… then she saw me naked and now she’s afraid of the light.
– Rodney Dangerfield
95.) I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the time he killed himself.
– Johnny Carson
96.) My brother is gay and my parents don’t care, as long as he marries a doctor.
– Elayne Boosler
97.) My wife gets all the money I make. I just get an apple and clean clothes every morning.
– Ray Romano
98.) I went to a meeting for premature ejaculators. I left early.
– Jack Benny
99.) Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand.
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100.) Women love a self-confident bald man.
– Larry David
101.) Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.
– Billy Crystal
102.) I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.
– Steven Wright
103.) My phone battery lasts longer than most of my relationships nowadays.
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104.) If she happens to fall, I’ll be there to laugh at first and then help her up afterwards.
– J.A. Redmerski
105.) Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell.
–Joan Crawford
106.) My last love is just like that thong peter griffin borrowed from me… Never getting it back.
– Refinnej Sin
107.) You can’t put a price tag on love. But if you could, I’d wait for it to go on sale.
– Hussein Nishah
108.) In any perfect relationship men should remember it’s a matter of direction; she takes what’s right and you take what’s left.
–Solitaire Parke
109.) Love is not having to hold in your farts anymore.
– Bree Luckey
110.) My wife and I were happy for 20 years – then we met.
– Rodney D
111.) Love is like finding a needle in a haystack.
– FaithHopeNLove
112.) Love is a sweet dream and marriage is the alarm clock.
– Jewish Proverbangerfield
113.) We’re like Romeo & Juliet.. Except for the dying part of course.
– Justina
114.) The key to a successful relationship is to clear your internet history.
– Quoteistan
115.)Love is much nicer to be in than an automobile accident, a tight girdle, a higher tax bracket or a holding pattern over Philadelphia.
– Judith Viorst
116.) Love is an electric blanket with somebody else in control of the switch.
– Cathy Carlyle
117.) They say that love is more important than money, but have you ever tried to pay your bills with a hug?
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118.) The more she turned right the more I turned wrong.
– Mark W. Boyer
119.) True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked.
–Erich Segal
120.) If only one could tell true love from false love as one can tell mushrooms from toadstools.
– Katherine Mansfield
121.) Romantic love is mental illness. But it’s a pleasurable one.
– Fran Lebowitz
122.) In love, somehow, a man’s heart is always either exceeding the speed limit, or getting parked in the wrong place.
– Rowland
123.) Honesty is the key to a relationship. If you can fake that, you’re in.
– Richard Jeni
124.) In my house I’m the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.
– Woody Allen
125.) Love is like a tornado, picks you up off your feet and sometimes takes half your house.
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126.) A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days.
– Tim Allen
127.) If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question?
– Lilly Tomlin
128.) The great question which I have not been able to answer… is, “What does a woman want?
– Freud
129.) People who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy.
– Bob Hope
130.) Love is blind but marriage is a real eye-opener.
– Pauline Thomason
131.) Women are meant to be loved, not to be understood.
– Oscar Wilde
132.) Marriage is a great institution for those who like institutions.
–Tommy Dewar
133.) Love is being stupid together.
– Paul Valery
134.) I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.
– David Bissonette
135.)Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell. –Joan Crawford
136.) Men are from Earth. Women are from Earth. Deal with it.
– George Carlin
137.) I love you and it’s getting worse.
– Joseph E. Morris
138.) Love is like an hourglass, with the heart filling up as the brain empties.
– Jules Renard
139.) Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not. So each is inevitably disappointed.
– Albert Einstein
140.) Love can change a person the way a parent can change a baby- awkwardly, and often with a great deal of mess.
–Lemony Snicket
141.) Love; A temporary insanity curable by marriage.
142.)Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell.
–Joan Crawford
143.) I kissed my first girl and smoked my first cigarette on the same day. I haven’t had time for tobacco since.
– Arturo Toscanini
144.) Love doesn’t drop on you unexpectedly; you have to give off signals, sort of like an amateur radio operator.
–Helen Gurley Brown
145.) This is as close as I can get to describing it – a hot pancake with butter melting on top and a steaming cup of coffee as soon as I open my eyes. That’s how wonderful it is to wake up knowing you are mine and I am yours.
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146.) Marriage is like twirling a baton, turning a handspring or eating with chopsticks; it looks easy until you try it.
– Helen Rowland
147.) I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the time he killed himself.
– Johnny Carson
148.) Real love amounts to withholding the truth, even when you’re offered the perfect opportunity to hurt someone’s feelings.
– David Sedaris
149.)Marriage is not just spiritual communion and passionate embraces; marriage is also three-meals-a-day and remembering to carry out the trash.
– Joyce Brothers
150.) Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?
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151.0When people ask me what is more important, food or love, I don’t answer because I’m eating.
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152.) When a couple is arguing over who loves who more, the one that gives up is the real winner.
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Sometimes, it gets a bit awkward to express your love in serious gestures, isn’t it? Without making it too cliché, you can always make it look cute and adorable by using a bit of humor. This will add to one of the special memories if you have a good time laughing and enjoying it. You’ll be more comfortable in your relationship and will crave for each other’s presence once you start cracking jokes in front of one another.
Love can test your patience and can have ups and downs, but what will make you stick together is a sense of togetherness and connection. With a good sense of humor, you can always feel more connected to one another and share a special bond.
We usually come across some serious, deep quotes when it comes to love. There are usually some sad and melancholic tones when people think of love quotes. In this article, we have discontinued that notion and have come with very exciting and funny quotes about love. When you are in love, it’s usually the little and funny stuff that makes it more enjoyable. You must have gone through this stuff together and will help you relive these moments. Here are some amazing quotes on love that will make your stomach ache with laughter.
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Conclusion:
You can always use these quotes if you are planning to write a love letter, a birthday card, or even an anniversary note. These jokes work best when you mess things up and seek an apology. Not only will these quotes set aside the anger of your partner, but they’ll also be more charmed by your gesture.
These quotes will not fail to bring a smile and laughter to your faces and life and lighten up your mood. We have filtered some of the best quotes for you to make it easier to choose any one of the above. Our collection includes jokes and quotes from all stages of your relationship so that you can have a good time reading them. You can share it with another and have a good time reading them!